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I don’t know if anyone has the same opinion as I have on the use of the word “Courtship”, in Christian cycles. I find the use of the word very old fashioned, I believe it belongs in the Victoria where it orignated. This was the debate we had at bible study this past week. The lady teaching kept referring to the word when she was talking about relationships. When it came to question time, someone asked what the difference was.
A few answers were thrown about, I decided to throw in my own two bits worth – I was the last person to ask a question.
I mentioned the fact that no one uses the word anymore that this is the 21st century, granted there is no replacement for the word. I absolutely hate the word because it just makes me feel like I am going backward. Someone tried to argue that Courting comes before dating, I wanted to jump in but we were running out of time. It appeared I was alone in my arguement as I couldn’t get people to see things from my point of view.
I have read countless books on relationships but none has mentioned Courtship which is what I would mentioned if I had the time. I left feeling like I should have kept quiet, that is one of the things I can’t stand about people who have married for so long, some of them have no real clue about the single relationships. They married when they were so young and don’t realise that certain terms or certain words are no longer applicable.
I think it’s time we singletons came up with a word to replace this old fashioned term, Courting, just typing or saying it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Please free to air your views in the comment box below, we don’t always have to agree but we can have a healthy debate about it.
I have to admit the younger generation never cease to shock/surprise me. Ok I am sounding like my mum and her generation well I guess I am getting old well I am an Auntie to two gorgeous twenty something men. I was having a conversation with a 24 year girl, yes I said girl rather than woman because she is very immature I wouldn’t go into details but let’s just say I have to go over stuff with her like I am speaking to a child, I am sure you get the picture – I don’t want to be insulting.
Back to the day I was having this conversation which she started. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend of 2 months, I was shocked to discover she had only been with him for just a short period of time. The way she was talking about him I thought they had been together for about a year or just under. She was always banging on about stuff they did, they swapped weekends as to whose home they will be sleeping in, blah, blah.
She admitted that she knew that sleeping with a guy she is wrong but that all the Christian guys she knew did, that they claim it is the only way they will know their girlsf4iends are committed to the relationship. I was quick to dismiss that notion, informing that the kids I taught in Sunday school have not gone down (Ok a few have but that’s another story) that road. Most of them have stayed pure, waited until their wedding day. She was like how can a guy be virgin? Not have sex until the day he is married, she could not believe that such men exist! So I took my time, going very slowly that it happens that yea not all guys were virgins at the time of their wedding but that is because some guys don’t come to Christ until they become adults in other words, they have lived a life of sin but that once they come to faith they are no longer involved in premarital sex, etc. Needless to say, I don’t think she will change cos she’s already on the hunt for a new man and she’s obvious missing sex. Am I disappointed, yes but then she’s just a church goer so until she has a real Holy Ghost encounter she will be that way. I am not judging her I will keep praying for her and other young people in her shoes, I just pray it’s not too late that she doesn’t end up marrying the wrong person. She had been saying how all her friends are all in relationships ( cohabiting) and having kids, etc.
She probably thinks there is some the wrong with me cos I am a 40 something, never married, no kids, not being in a relationship (didn’t tell her how long, she will probably faint) for years.
I recieved this from a close friend of mine and felt I should share it with you
‘Listen for God’s voice … he’s the one who will keep you on track.’
Proverbs 3:6 MSG
Before you date somebody, ask yourself:
1) Am I free to be who I am? Paul writes, ‘Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be’ (Romans 12:6 MSG). If you have to reinvent yourself to keep somebody happy, you’re in the wrong relationship. If they disapprove of you now, do you seriously think marriage will improve things? Not a chance!
2) Is the relationship based on honesty? The Bible talks about ‘telling each other the truth’ (Ephesians 4:25 CEV). Relationships thrive on openness and trust. When deceit creeps in, it’s time to get truthful in a hurry or call it quits.
3) Have we established clear boundaries? If the relationship ended today, would you regret your level of involvement? The Bible says, ‘Run from sexual sin’ (1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT). God made sex a commitment specifically for marriage; otherwise what was intended to be beautiful and fulfilling can leave you feeling ‘used’.
4) Is this person possessive or controlling? If so, it’s a red flag. The Bible says, ‘Love is … never jealous’ (1 Corinthians 13:4 CEV). If you can’t make a move without the other person’s permission, you need to back off and re-evaluate the relationship.
5) How are we spending our time together? Without a plan, it’s easy to get more physically involved than you should. That’s why it’s good to agree up front about establishing boundaries. Keep God in your relationship and you won’t go wrong. ‘Listen for God’s voice in everything you do … he’s the one who will keep you on track.
I hope you find this article as I did. I pray that the Lord will guide you in the dating process.
Yes the day they call Valentine is almost upon us yet again. Valentine’s day came up in a conversation with a new colleague, as we were walking down the streets. She was getting all excited because she was looking forward to spending the day with her boyfriend. She was like ‘isn’t it exciting?’ I was like ‘no’, then proceeded to tell her it was a waste of time. She said it was all about love, blah,blah. I told her, ‘you don’t need 14 February to prove to someone you love them’, that love should be all year round. She was still trying to get me to see things from her point of view.
I asked if her boyfriend only loves her or lavishes on her, just one day of the year? What do you think her reaction was? You guessed right, silence. Of course, she’s just a loved up kid, I am nearly twice her age, so yes the elder wins, lol.
Valentine’s day this year happens to be on a Sunday, my church wants us to celebrate. We were paired up, quite funny how it happened because no one was expecting it. We were doing the usual going round and saying hello to one another. Then the guy doing the notices then said ‘the person you are talking to is going to be your Valetine’. I ended up with a married woman, it was funny when it was men and men, the look on their faces was priceless.
I have got a box of chocolates for my Val and I will be baking heart shaped red velvet brownies for the church. So I guess in a way I am celebrating Valetine’s day even though I don’t have a fella:D. Just goes to show I don’t have to wait for Prince Charming to enjoy my life, yay!
All that is left for me to say is Happy Valentine’s day.
I thought of you when I read this quote from “Happy Single You” by Marcus Gill –
“Your time of singleness is not punishment, it’s preparation time!”
Start reading this book for free: http://amzn.to/23Uwexy
As we are now fully ‘settled ‘ into 2016 it may be a bit too late to say Happy New Year. Oopsy, I already did, lol. I have great hopes and expectations for this year. 2015 was not a good year but then neither has the last few years but I won’t bore you with details because dwelling on the past will hinder me from moving forward and letting God’s purpose for my life be fulfilled.
http://bible.com/114/mat.21.22.nkjv And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
A young friend of mine on her Facebook page so I thought I would share this with you.