I have had my share of ups and downs in the last 6 months, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t, would I? My life (like all adults) can be viewed from 3 angles – spiritual, career, relationships. I will start from the latter, I have had to take a ‘break’ from a close friend cos I couldn’t deal with anymore of her baggage, there are some people who just don’t seem to learn from their mistakes and just go on repeating for years. I have been there through out but there is only so much I can put up with! I do have my own problems after all. On the good side, I have formed what appears to be good friendships with a few ladies of the Beading group I belong, we have been meeting up outside of the main group as we find we have a lot in common and have a lot of fun. We will continue to attend monthly ‘meets’ with the others, we even have our first year anniversary next weekend. The downside to this is that they are not Christians, I would love to make more friends of the faith so I suppose I will need to go to other churches or attend more Christian events. As I attend a church (the HQ anyway) that is full of families, making friends with the same interest is very difficult, there are only a handful of singles in my age range, unfortunately, they are the opposite of moi.
In terms of my spiritual life, I think I am going through one of the those wilderness experiences, sometimes I am up but these days, it is been more of downs. I can’t seem to concentrate (especially praying) for long during my quiet times or even in public worship. I think it is to do with the change of format of the church events. Following the death of our Deputy General Overseer, there was (obviously) a change in leadership, the General Overseer had to step in. And so followed the changes in church events like the bible study format, we no longer have weekly studies. We now have one bible study a month, the other weeks are to be in the house groups using the format prepared by the church. In as much as I think the building of house groups will bring together, I am not happy that the main bible study is only once a month or the fact that it is now an open format. It is turning into a competition, it is always the same people who want to speak all the time which I find very frustrating so skipped the last one. Neither am I impressed with listening to the same person (House Group pastor) teaching every Tuesday, it is turning out to be rountine!!
The other programme I miss is the last Friday of the month, where we used to have ministrations, testimonies, powerful teaching, worship, etc. It used to be the highlight for me cos it meant I could start the new month with God’s anointing and blessing on my life! I suppose in a way there is now a sort of void, I am all for change but when it comes to my spiritual life it is a different ball game. To make up for it, I listen to online messages from popular teachers, I have intensified my personal bible study, have to admit that has helped but it can be compared to been part of a congregation.
In terms of my regular full time, nothing exciting. I got a good appraisal but have been told I need to raise my targets, problem is I can’t do that if I have got nothing to do. I almost fell off my chair when my boss implied I exaggerate the time I took on a task, he even gave me examples of tasks I should have charged more for! I later found out everyone else was doing it so management can get off their backs and cos the government have been putting pressure on the Directors to get money out of clients – politics!!! I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place, as a Christain that is just so, so, so dishonest, are my targets up? No cos I can’t lie!! I have had enough of the whole environment anyway, this time charging on every single task is not for me, so I am on the hunt for a new job, so help me Lord.
After a very slow in the year, my business finally picked via my adverts with a third party. I had a group, a few one to one tuition beading classes. I even taught a lady from church, all the classes were fun especially the one with the posh ladies, they were so friendly, funny, they are my highlight so far. In between preparing for the classes, I also had commissions, the classes were back to back Saturdays and one Sunday. I have to admit the turn all of my business came at the right time cos I was struggling with my finances!! So yes I give God the glory that he came in just at the right time!
Juggling this with a full time job was a bit hectic but I enjoyed every minute, it also gave me a picture of what my business will look like once it took off! When that happens I will have to employ staff to help with the prepare and Admin, I am looking forward to that day. Will I quit my full time job, not in a hurry, I will just have to use my annual leave for business. Things have slowed down but I know it wouldn’t be permanently, I love the teaching aspect of my business more than selling but I am making and putting up jewellery designs for sale on various onlne sites, as I need to continue honing and improving my skills besides I need to be busy, lol. Put it this way, I am going to enjoy the quiet times before the busy times start all over again.
The Lord is faithful and will never abandon his own that is what keeps me going. As the bible says ‘if God be for us who can be against us’. So I am going to continue holding on to his word and his promises.